Try the Loving Lotus, turn sex on its side, strip and ‘simmer’. Tracey Cox reveals the seven secrets for hot ‘special occasion’ sex.
It’s your anniversary. A milestone birthday. Or you’ve been separated for months and want to make that first night back together something to remember.
I get lots of requests from couples wanting to know how to plan a great sex night for a special occasion without it seeming cliched or too planned.
My first piece of advice is don’t worry about either.
Clichés are clichés for a reason – they work, so people continue do them. Planning requires time and effort and both show you care.
Throw some other tricks into the mix and you have all the essentials for a brilliant sex night.
Stick to these seven rules and you can’t go wrong.
British sex expert Tracey Cox reveals the seven secrets for hot ‘special occasion’ sex for a special evening
SET THE SCENE
Regardless of what your ‘treat’ is or where you’re planning on doing it, you need to create the right mood.
Stark, harsh lighting is a killer for sex: there’s a reason why candles are so popular.
You could go for more-is-best and put little clusters of different size candles around the room or buy one big, beautiful candle to set the mood.
Add some gourmet treats. An extra special bottle of wine or champagne, posh chocolates or favourite foods.
Make sure the sheets are clean and fresh sheets if you’re in the bedroom, add a sensual feeling blanket or rug if you’re elsewhere.
MAKE AN ENTRANCE
British sex expert Tracey Cox said setting the scene was paramount
Much of arousal is driven by what we see – which is why having their partner strip for them remains a top fantasy of both men and women.
Set the scene by leading your partner into the room and tell them to sit still and not move. Exit, put on some music, then return in your chosen outfit.
From there, it’s a case of removing your clothes while observing the four ‘musts’ of stripping.
You’re allowed to touch, they aren’t. Hold eye contact. Touch yourself the way they’re longing to touch you, in the places they want to touch and think the three T’s: tempt, tantalise and tease. Parade around, walk up and down, flirt, flick your hair, gyrate your body.
Once you’ve hyped them up to full arousal…
SLOW THINGS DOWN
Few long-term couples take their time over sex: all too often we end up slotting it into a busy schedule and doing it last thing at night.
The biggest gift you can give your partner for special occasion sex is time: the slower things progress the better.
A massage might seem obvious but, done well, its nearly always appreciated. Go all out with fluffy towels and massage oil and touch every inch of your partner’s body, stroking and kneading slowly.
When they’re nicely relaxed but also aroused, change the mood by moving onto some erotic massage.
A great technique for men is ‘spiralling the stalk’.
Hold the base of the penis with one hand and take a firm grip of it with the other. Start at the bottom and slide to the top using a circular, twisting motion as you wind toward the head. Picture a corkscrew – that’s the kind of movement you’re imitating.
Tracey urged couples to slow down and said few long-term couples take their time over sex: all too often we end up slotting it into a busy schedule and doing it last thing at night
When you get to the head of the penis, use the palm of your hand to caress the entire surface and only work upwards.
Stop if he’s losing control: the aim is to ‘simmer’ not boil over.
ADD SOME KILLER MOVES
Move straight from this delicious pampering into your usual old sex routine and position and you might as well not have bothered.
You MUST have some new moves to make the sex stand out.
Is there something your partner has always wanted to do? Have sex outside? Roleplay? Try a tie-up game? Now’s the time to indulge.
Tying your partner’s hands together while you pleasure them (or vice versa) is a quick, easy way to up the ante.
At the very least, try a new position. If you’re wanting romance, try the Loving Lotus.
Get your partner to sit cross-legged and climb onto their lap, facing them, with your legs wrapped around their back. Lift so he can penetrate then put your arms around his neck and grind together.
If it’s adventure you’re after, try The Front Flip.
He sits on the edge of the bed. You sit on his lap but facing away from him. Position yourself so you can move your knees back so they’re resting on the bed beside his hips, then put your hands flat on the floor in front of you.
He holds onto your hips to move you back and forth, you use your hands to push back into him.
CHANGE THE DYNAMIC
Giving pleasure can be equally as arousing as receiving it and after all that effort, it’s your turn to lie back and take.
No special occasion sex is complete without everyone’s favourite sexual activity – oral.
The sex expert revealed how giving pleasure can be equally as arousing as receiving it and after all that effort, it’s your turn to lie back and take
The Kivin Method cleverly transforms standard oral sex into something super special with one simple change: Instead of lying in between your thighs, your partner lies sideways.
Lots of women find the side of the clitoris more sensitive than the ‘top’ with one side often proving more sensitive than the other.
Get your partner to experiment giving it from either side to find your favourite.
TRY A NEW HOT ZONE
Another great way to introduce novelty: explore a new erogenous zone.
Anal play is hugely popular with lots of couples because the anus is packed with highly sensitive nerve endings.
Try inserting a small butt plug, before continuing with foreplay, as usual.
Not your thing? Try one of many couple’s toys, choosing from Velcro-style bondage kits, vibrators you ‘wear’ during intercourse and remote control vibrators that are terrific for teasing.
ENJOY THE AFTERGLOW
If you were in a movie, post orgasm you’d both retire to snuggle on a fur rug in front of a raging fire.
Luxuriating in bed, cuddled up, is the next best thing.
The worst: jumping up the second it’s over and reaching for your phone or a remote.
Remember, it’s time, effort and attention that makes a sex session truly memorable.
There’s nothing like basking in the afterglow of great sex – and who knows? Give it ten minutes and you might be ready for round two!
You’ll find Tracey’s new product ranges at Lovehoney and find more advice on making sex special at traceycox.com.