A psychologist has revealed the 15 questions all couples should be able to answer honestly to recognise whether they are one another’s ‘long-term match’.
Dr Carmen Harra, American author of Committed: Finding Love and Loyalty Through the Seven Archetypes, has revealed exclusively to FEMAIL how to discover if your partner is really ‘the one’.
‘We should be seeking a partner with values that reflect honesty, integrity, and reliability, qualities that can support a stable relationship in time. “The one” will not be a perfect person, but they will be perfect for you,’ explained Dr Carmen.
She added that reflecting on the questions in this quiz will help determine the compatibility and durability of your relationship.
Here, Dr Carmen reveals the questions every couple should consider if they want to go the distance…
A psychologist has revealed the 15 questions all couples should be able to answer honestly to recognise whether they are one another’s ‘long-term match’ (stock photo)
1. What does your future look like?
Can you imagine building it together? Can you envision yourself growing old with this person?
If your partner possesses serious character flaws – like addiction of any form, abusive tendencies, or pathological lying – you may not be able to see a future by their side.
Visualise your relationship in five, ten, even 20 years down the road. How do you expect it to change? More importantly, how do you expect it to evolve?
2. How does your partner regard family?
3. Can you both compromise?
If ever there was a secret to a lasting relationship, it is compromise. Do you and your partner believe in compromise over separation?
Are they willing to give and take with you on essential matters? A relationship without compromise is a road with a guaranteed dead end.
Do they have close ties with their family members? Is family a priority? Even if your partner has experienced familial rifts, have they cared enough to try to work things out?
The way in which a person tends to their family speaks volumes about the way they will treat you if and when you become a part of their household.
4. Do you speak the same ‘language’?
By language, I refer to systems of belief and perspectives on the greater themes of life. Do you share the same views and aims? Similar morals and values?
It will pose problems if one of you wants to travel the world while the other wishes to settle down and have children.
Partners who have parallel goals are more likely to remain together than those whose ambitions span in opposite directions.
5. Are you emotionally intimate?
Intimacy reaches far deeper than the physical level. Emotional intimacy is being in touch with your partner’s innermost essence; it is the magnet that brings and keeps two people together.
Does this person just “get” you without you having to explain yourself? If you weren’t feeling well, would they know what to bring you before you even asked?
Being emotionally intimate with another person means understanding him or her without effort.
6. What emotions does your partner trigger?
A person who evokes mostly anxiety, worry, and pain is not a good person for you.
But a person who steadies the emotions within you, bringing tranquillity and harmony, is like water to a garden: this is a partner who can help you bloom into your highest, most incredible self.
Remember that the greatest gift anyone can give you is peace of mind.
Dr Carmen Harra, American author of Committed: Finding Love and Loyalty Through the Seven Archetypes, has revealed exclusively to FEMAIL how to discover if your partner is really ‘the one’ (stock photo)
7. Can you trust them?
Where there is no trust, there is no relationship. Does this person inspire a sense of certitude and confidence? Or do you find yourself questioning their motives and claims?
Everyone makes mistakes, but a partner with genuine intentions will confess his and take the right steps to rectify them. You will feel unwavering trust in a person who’s your true match.
8. Do you need them?
Partners who are meant to be don’t just want each other, they need each other. Theirs is a union that swims a deep ocean.
After a hard day, they yearn for each other’s embrace. They need the consoling words of their other half, their partner’s healing presence and unique touch.
This kind of love transcends wanting – it’s a longing from the seat of the soul. So, ask yourself: do you want your partner or do you need them?
9. How do they compare to other partners?
Have you brought into your life a partner who’s a copy of a former love? Or does this person hold positive qualities that previous partners lacked?
If you don’t completely heal from and resolve the karma of past relationships, it’s likely that you’ll attract a similar companion again.
Compare the patterns that existed in ex-relationships with your current love interest to ensure that you’re making progress.
10. Can you tolerate each other’s weaknesses?
Relationships require a certain degree of tolerance that will undoubtedly test your patience.
Can you stand all of your partner’s faults? Every one of their bad habits? On the other hand, do you respect the things they like and can you adapt to their taste?
Unconditional love calls for us to accept our partner’s weaknesses in the same way as their strengths.
11. Does your partner try to improve?
We should all be making small strides toward self-improvement each day, in physical, emotional, and mental ways.
Little things, like learning to be kinder to others or working on our patience, show that we’re trying to make progress as human beings.
Do you see that your partner is working on themselves? Or are they stuck in a comfort zone and refuse to change for the better?
What matters most is a person’s potential to improve and their willingness to better themselves each day.
12. Do you share a soulful bond?
A soulmate is like the missing piece of the puzzle. Soulful bonds are far and few but when they do occur, they’re obvious to both partners and pass the test of time.
Among the telltale signs of a soulmate is feeling a strong feeling of déjà vu, having an us-against-the-world mentality, a curious intensity that doesn’t die out, and a comforting sense of security.
13. Do you learn from them?
The right partner will double as your teacher. Partners who are in sync will have much to learn from one another.
Whether they’re lessons in love, work, finances, forgiveness, or any other aspect of life, your ideal partner will motivate you to expand your mind and elevate your spirit. What has your partner taught you?
14. Is your partner generous?
Not just to you, but to others. While you won’t be offered everything on a silver platter, you do deserve a partner who’s fair and gives back as much as they take.
Do they gift you freely with their time, compassion, and affection? Such rewards are invaluable.
15. Do you expect miracles?
Often you can anticipate the course of your relationship before it unfolds; you can usually sense from the beginning whether a person is good or bad for you.
When a person is the one for you, you instinctively feel that beautiful things are bound to happen.
Authentic love offers you hope and a partner with pure intentions makes you believe in blessings to come. What miracles do you feel await in your own relationship?