Kimmel mentioned that Wednesday’s impeachment was bipartisan, with Republicans joining all Democrats voting to impeach.
“Your President gave a big — I mean little — thumbs up to an army of morons marching down the street, kicking in doors, killing a police officer and smearing their feces all over your office,” Kimmel said. “And most of these Republicans are like, ‘Well, you know, the office did need some freshening up. Some color on the walls is nice.'”
Over on CBS, Colbert covered the proceedings in a segment called “Don and the Giant Impeach 2: Go Fast, We’re Furious.”
Colbert noted that the impeachment article charged the president with inciting violence against the Government of the United States, which the host said was a “pure dereliction of duty.”
“That’s like your doctor yanking out your IV, or a lifeguard drowning your grandpa, or the host of your book club failing to buy boxed wine,” Colbert said. “We were counting on you, Brenda!”
The CBS host also pointed out Trump is getting impeached with just a week left in his term: “Do you know how bad of a job you have to be doing to get fired while you’re getting fired?”
“However you feel about the merits of the Twitter ban, it’s a huge quality-of-life improvement,” Meyers said. “It’s like waking up the morning after construction finally stops outside your window. We no longer have to put up with President Jackhammer.”
Meyers then added that beyond being impeached twice, Trump also lost the popular vote twice.
“It’s like entering the Tour de France, coming in dead last and getting kicked out for steroids,” Meyers said. “And then entering again the next year only to forget your bike, forcing you to steal someone else’s and scream, ‘you’ll never catch me!’ before crashing into a cow.”