Financial stability is one thing most people crave when it comes to relationships – but many miss the red flags, according to experts.
The team at She’s on the Money spoke about red flags on their Instagram page, including refusing to talk about money and chronic overspending.
The women the were happy to highlight the ‘awkward, uncomfortable warning signs showing you this might not be the soulmate you want’.
Victoria Devine, pictured, founded the She’s on the money podcast, and stresses the importance about being open with money
The number one financial red flag for people in romantic relationships is an inability to talk to your partner about money.
This could lead to confusion about spending habits, saving goals and whether or not you are compatible as a couple.
One woman said she would walk away immediately if she found her partner couldn’t talk about money.
‘Start talking about money early and often! And if they don’t want to say goodbye,’ she wrote on the post.
According to the podcasters if your partner borrows money and doesn’t pay it back then you should hear warning bells.
Being pressured into opening a joint bank account is another huge red flag, they said, adding it is important to be able to speak about and stick to your own boundaries.
The fourth major red flag is when your partner lives ‘well outside of their means’.
The could look like overspending on shopping, building up debt with new cars, buy-now-pay-later schemes and failing to budget appropriately.
In the post the women also asked if anyone else had top financial red flags they would like to add to the list.
And people were happy to oblige.
‘You’d have to add habitual gambling to the list for sure, right?’ one woman wrote.
If your partner constantly lives outside of their means that is a huge red flag and needs to be spoken about
While another said having a partner who ‘has the final say on how joint savings are used’ is a major red flag for them.
What are the big four financial red flags for mature romantic relationships?
1 – Not talking to your partner about money
2 – Your partner borrowing money and never paying it back
3 – Your partner pressuring you into opening a joint account
4 – Your partner living well outside of their means
One woman said she felt uncomfortable when her partner demanded to know how she spent her money.
Another money expert, Shahirah Gardner previously spoke to FEMAIL about relationship red flags, and agreed that speaking about money early is important.
For Shahira having no savings, an unstable job, living week to week and drowning in debt were the four biggest red flags.
She explained that savings are important because they demonstrate ‘self-discipline and respect for financial goals’.
Financial instability was her next big red flag: ‘If they have stability in the workplace, their chances of stability in the home place are that much greater. Not to mention, it’s harder to pay bills and plan holidays if you can’t guarantee a steady income.’
The third, drowning in debt, is important because sharing a life with someone means sharing debts too – directly or indirectly.
Living paycheck to paycheck is the next big red flag for Shahirah, despite half of all Australians reporting to do so.
‘While it seems almost unavoidable for a lot of young Aussies, how fast is your partner running out of money? If it’s payday and they’re already counting down until the next, then be careful.’
Financial red flags need to be evaluated from the moment you meet, and kept on top of throughput the entire relationship as circumstances change.
What are first date financial red flags?
The top red flags as revealed by singles who are actively involved in the dating scene.
1 – Flaunting your wealth – 46% of people found this a turn off
2 – Ordering the most expensive thing on the menu – a red flag for 37%
3 – Refusal to admit financial privilege – a big no for 30% of people
4 – Gender rules or expectations for paying the bill – disliked by 28%
5 – Paying for every thing with a credit card – a red flag for 27% of people
What are the three-month red flags?
Aftyer making it through the first date it is important to look for red flags over the first three months.
1 – 52% of people found partners acting wealthier than they are in reality a turn off
2 – 43% look for job instability
3 – 40% are anxious if partners are secretive about their income
4 – 38% see buy now pay later schemes as a red flag over three months
5 – 33% of people think credit card usage long-term is a problem
It is important to be able to have conversations about money with your partner, if you can’t then there are problems
So Syncd relationship expert Jessica Alderson said some red flags take longer to show up, while others should be considered instant deal breakers.
These include paying for everything on credit, flaunting your wealth, refusing to admit financial privilege and ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.
‘It’s good to make a decision on a first date if the red flag is glaringly obvious. It’s much better to cut things off quickly rather than ending up in a toxic relationship which can be very damaging long-term,’ she said.
How should I bring up finances with a new partner or on a first date?
1 – Don’t be afraid to split the bill
If you are dating, be upfront about who is paying and what you can afford. You shouldn’t feel the need to pay for something you are not able to afford.
You can broach the subject lightly by suggesting how they would like to pay at the start of your meal, for instance. That way, you avoid any squabbles towards the end of the date about money.
2 – Listen and learn
You can learn a lot about someone on a first date, and even at the start of a new relationship, by listening to their values, hobbies and goals. Observe what their lifestyle is.
Are they frugal? Or are they open about luxuries? Doing so will help you better understand them as a person and whether their goals align with yours.
3 – Share your values
Your values make you who you are. And a major part of any relationship is being honest about what you want from life.
So, share your financial goals. Do you want to own your home? Buy a van and travel the world? You can then see just how compatible you really are.
4 – Don’t pry too early in the relationship
If you wouldn’t ask a friend about their credit score, you might want to hold off on that topic on the first date.
If they are not as open as you with regards to money, that doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to date. It might just take them more time to open up to the conversation.
Instead, gradually get to know them and you’ll learn more about their values when it comes to money along the way.
5 – Don’t impose your own financial goals
While you might be confident and assured in your financial goals, it doesn’t mean the person you are dating is or even has those same values. Let them open up about their own goals and see if they align.
Source: Money Super Market
‘However, sometimes things do get lost in translation on a first date so if you’re unsure about whether something really is a red flag, you should go on another date and carefully observe to see if there are more behaviours that help clarify your doubts.’
Financial experts at Money Super Market agreed, noting that while 27 per cent of people think using a credit card for every purchase is a red flag, it might not be.
‘Credit cards can actually be a sign of understanding how to manage your money. A credit card, if used correctly, can help your credit score and ensure your rating is healthy which makes it easier to secure a loan or even get a mortgage,’ they explained.
The real red flag that your date may have a spending problem is if they rely on ‘buy now pay later schemes’, they said.