Do NOT ask me to touch base! The most-hated office jargon revealed


Do NOT ask me to touch base! The most-hated office jargon revealed from ‘out of the loop’ to ‘ducks in a row’ (so, which phrases are YOU guilty of using)

  • Research carried out by SMARTY has revealed nation’s most sufferable sayings  
  • Most puzzling Covid jargon include phrases ‘travel corridor’ and ‘herd immunity’
  • Places we hear jargon most frequently are on social media and on the news

Th list of the nation’s most insufferable sayings include ‘touch base’, ‘sliding into DMs’ and ‘thinking outside the box,’ according to new research. 

The hilarious list of Britain’s most loathed jargon phrases, which was carried out by mobile network SMARTY, also features ‘spit balling ideas’, ‘helicopter thinking’ and ‘bang for the buck.’ 

Amongst the phrases additionally making the cut include: ‘Low hanging fruit’ and ‘out of the loop.’ 

The company have teamed up with award-winning comedian and actor Guz Khan and together they have dissected the nation’s most hated phrases to form a world-first ‘Jargonary’, offering real and honest descriptions into what people really mean when they’re telling you to ‘play hardball’ or get your ‘ducks in a row’. 

Mobile network SMARTY have teamed up with award-winning comedian and actor Guz Khan and together they have dissected the nation’s most hated phrases to form a world-first ‘Jargonary’

According to the research, the place we most frequently see or hear jargon is social media, with 40% of us agreeing it’s the most frequent offender for spewing jargon.

This is closely followed by the news and the government announcements we’ve been tuning in to over the past few months. 

The UK’s most loathed jargon phrases: 

Touch base (24%): Briefly make or renew contact with someone

Slide into DMs (24%): A reference to sending someone a private message on social media which is often to initiate some form of romantic connection 

Think outside the box (22%): To think differently

Spit balling ideas (21%): To openly suggest ideas’  

Helicopter thinking (21%): To rise above a situation and see the bigger picture

Bang for the buck (18%): Value for money

Low hanging fruit (16%): The most easily achieved of a set of goals

Play hardball (15%): To act ruthlessly

Ducks in a row (13%): Implies preparedness

Out of the loop (13%): To not be told some information

Elsewhere, nearly one in five reported hearing most jargon at work.

Interestingly, much of this commonplace office speak is lost on many workers.

‘66% of people admitting they don’t know what ‘spit balling ideas’ means, while 25% say they have no idea what ‘touch base’ means either. 

It’s unsurprising then that 2.8 million people in the UK admit that every single day they go along with a conversation or reply to an email pretending to know what’s being said when they in fact have no idea what the jargon being used means.

While our workplaces may seem to be homeplace of buzz words and jargon, 28% of the UK believe we hear the most jargon in government briefings. 

A further 28% of us admit to still being confused by some of the jargon that has come about since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic.

‘Travel corridors,’ ‘herd immunity,’ and ‘flattening the curve’ are the top phrases in our new coronavirus vocabulary that still puzzle us

Generational jargon also has the country divided, with half of Brits confessing they find it difficult to understand young people because of the jargon they use. 

Guz Khan commented: ‘Life is complicated enough without us using crazy jargon. 

‘The way I see it is no-one actually knows what people mean when they’re asking to touch base or spit ball ideas, it’s nonsense! 

I’ve teamed up with SMARTY Mobile to write the Jargonary, a dictionary of silly jargon phrases to shut this madness down and to keep things nice and simple.’

New research carried out by SMARTY has revealed the hilarious list of Britain's most loathed jargon phrases. Pictured, stock image

New research carried out by SMARTY has revealed the hilarious list of Britain’s most loathed jargon phrases. Pictured, stock image

Sayed Hajamaideen, Head of Marketing and Propositions at SMARTY Mobile said: 

‘Right now it feels like we’re living in a world of double-speak, so we’re proud to partner with Guz Khan to create a book that deciphers tricky jargon phrases we hear every day. 

SMARTY Mobile is all about keeping things simple. 

‘Our no-nonsense approach gives choice and flexibility, something we all need a bit of in these ever-changing times.’ 

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk