Britney Spears has said she feels like a ‘huge part of her has died’ amid her strained relationship with her teenage sons.
In a new audio clip, the superstar, 40, said on the recording, shared on social media on Sunday, that she has lost her purpose now that she doesn’t see them.
Britney shares Sean Preston, 16, and Jayden James, 15, with ex-husband Kevin Federline, 44.
‘Since they’ve been gone, a part of me has died’: Britney Spears has claimed she has ‘no purpose anymore’ amid strained relationship with sons Sean Preston, 16, and Jayden James, 15 (throwback image)
Naked: Some time later, Britney shared yet another racy post on Instagram after her sons had said they find them embarrassing – yet she posts them as a means of empowerment
She said: ‘I used to have my kids at one point, way more than Kevin
‘People don’t remember that part because they always focus on the negative. But from when they were six to nine years old, I had them 70% of the time. Since they’ve been gone, I’ve honestly felt like a huge part of me has died.’
Britney continued: ‘Like, literally, I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy. They were my everything. I looked forward to seeing them. That was what I lived for.
‘And then all of a sudden, they were gone. And I was like, “Did my heart just stop beating?”’
Britney said she doesn’t understand ‘how it’s so easy for them just to cut me off like that’.
Britney said: ‘Like, literally, I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy. They were my everything. I looked forward to seeing them. That was what I lived for’
She explained that her reason for posting the recording was that her therapist is only available ‘usually once a week’ and it’s important for her to ‘feel like I can share.’
Some time later, she shared another naked post on Instagram after her boys had said they find them embarrassing.
Britney posts them as a way of showing she has power back over her own body following her 13-year conservatorship and her modesty was covered up with an emoji.
She wrote: ‘I’m pretty traumatized for life and yes I’m p***ed as f**k and no I won’t probably perform again just because I’m stubborn and I will make my point.
She finished by addressing her father directly: ‘See this picture right here … kiss my God damn mother f**king ass you f**king bas***d.’
Britney also vented her frustrations with the ‘pain’ her father inflicted upon her during her saying she wished her parents ‘both burn in hell’.
A California judge ended the pop star’s conservatorship last November after a court revealed that Spears was being forced to use birth control to stop her having a third child.
In the months since, Spears has been unbridled in her public criticism of her family and on Sunday made plain her thoughts on her parents, particularly her father – who allegedly stole from her when he was supposed to be managing her finances.
Past love: Kevin Federline, has custody of the two boys. He is pictured with Britney Spears at the Grammy’s in February 2006
She wrote on Instagram: ‘Sorry I will never forget because of the pain and the difference in being out of my head clear moving my feet … its only been 10 months since the conservatorship has ended … I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone !!!’
‘It’s extremely hard for me to accept the fact that my family did that to me … it will be hard for me for the rest of my life … as for my Mom and Dad who sat back and hid coffee from me at the house to wake me up from feeling dead and scared like an old lady … and threw me away … I will say it loud and proud … I pray you both burn in hell.’
Painful time: Judge Brenda Penny ruled last November that a conservatorship placed on Britney Spears by her father Jamie (pictured) 13 years ago must now come to an end
Accompanying Sunday’s posting was a two minute audio note from the superstar singer where she explained how she continually had to undergo MRI examinations without it being explained to her exactly why she needed the procedure.
Spears documented how she underwent the hour-long scan at least three times leading her to believe she may be suffering from a rare form of cancer.
She said: ‘I was basically really kind of confused. So, honestly, none of it was true. I’m fine. I’m alive. The conclusion, the hardest thing is that they were just being mean. My dad was just being really mean and I really felt like my dad was just trying to kill me and I really hope he burns in f***ing hell.’
Later, following the rant, the Oops!…I Did It Again singer posted an image of herself without clothes on, with just a heart covering her bottom with anther rant about her conservatorship.
The popstar added: ‘I’m pretty traumatized for life and yes I’m p****d as f**k and no I won’t probably perform again just because I’m stubborn and I will make my point.’
Earlier this weekend, Spears vented her frustrations about her sons – who continue to avoid her.
The star’s sons Sean Preston, 16, and Jayden James, 15, have not seen their mother for nearly six months now, and even decided not to attend her June wedding to American-Iranian model Sam Asghari, their father previously revealed to DailyMail.com.
Kevin Federline said last month that the ‘boys have decided they are not seeing her right now,’ noting it has been a difficult few months for them since a judge ruled in November to end her 13-year conservatorship.
In the months since, Spears has taken advantage of her newfound freedom by posting almost nude selfies to Instagram, much to her sons’ disgust, Federline said.
Following these remarks, Spears accused her sons of ‘abandoning her’ and ‘being hateful’ in a now deleted Instagram post, after which Federline, 44, posted a video allegedly showing the singer ‘screaming’ at her sons when they were younger. That video has also now been removed.
Spears began her rant over the weekend telling her 42.1 million followers how she had a lot on her mind that she needed to get off her chest.
Prior to her father establishing a conservatorship, Spears suffered a well-publicized breakdown following her divorce to Federline. She was then only allowed to see her children in supervised visits under the condition she underwent random drug testing.
But after the conservatorship was established in 2008 Spears acquired shared custody again, and occasional snapshots of her with the boys over the years – beaming at the camera at a baseball match, celebrating birthday dinners, splashing around in a swimming pool – suggested a tender bond between mother and sons was forged.
But Federline was reportedly given 70 percent custody in 2019.
The children then stopped their overnight stays. Their monitors visits became less frequent, until they decided to stop visiting their mom earlier this year.
Sadness: Spears had previously accused her sons of ‘abandoning her’ and ‘being hateful’ in a now deleted Instagram post
Her loves: She revealed in an Instagram rant on Saturday that she once saw her sons 70 percent of the time between the ages of six and nine
Sons: After her conservatorship was established in 2008 Spears acquired shared custody
In her Instagram video, Spears went on to admonish her kids for ‘making the claims that “she’s not good now” and “she wants attention.”
‘Yeah I do want to be heard, and I’m angry,’ she said. ‘I kind of want to subconsciously offend people because I’ve been offended for so long.’
‘But I’m afraid to inform you guys I’m not willing to see you until I feel valued,’ Spears then revealed, speaking directly to her sons.
‘I won’t be calling your monitor weekly, who never did his job of informing me when you guys were coming.
‘I never said any of this at the time, because I was desperate to see you guys because I wanted to see you guys so bad.
‘But honestly, I should’ve valued myself way more and told you when I was available.
‘I gave you guys so much attention, it was pathetic.’
She finally concluded by saying: ‘All I know is my love for my children is more than anything, and I’m sorry if I ever hurt you guys in any way.
‘I adore you,’ she said, adding that she hopes they could see the message after they blocked her on Instagram.
Family: Federline pictured with Jayden (far left), the son he shares with Britney, and his two daughters from his later marriage to Victoria Prince, Payton, left, and Jordan
Break: Federline has insisted that Spears’ two boys love their mother, despite choosing to take some time away from seeing her (Pictured: Jayden with Federline’s daughter Payton)
Speaking out: Jayden (far left) chats to Kevin Federline (centre) and his other son Kaleb (far right) during a televised interview
Spears’ Instagram rant comes just days after her sons spoke out about their relationship in a 60 Minutes interview.
Jayden said during the interview that there is ‘no hate’ towards his mother, but he said, ‘it will take a lot of time and effort’ to repair their fractured relationship.
‘I 100% think this can be fixed. It’s just going to take a lot of time and effort. I just want her to get better mentally. When she gets better I really want to see her again. ‘
Speaking directly to their mother, he adds: ‘I love you a lot, I hope for the best for you. Maybe one day we can sit down like this and talk again.’
Doing her own thing: Earlier this year Britney posted a series of naked pictures online to celebrate her freedom, before deleting them
Yet to do so at her wedding to Asghari, 28, who Britney met on the set of her music video Slumber Party in 2016, would have been inappropriate, he believes.
‘At the time it just wasn’t a good time to go. I’m not saying that I’m not happy for her,’ explains Jayden. ‘I’m really happy for them, but she didn’t invite the whole family and then if it was just going to be me and Preston, I just don’t see how that situation would have ended on good terms.’
The pair enjoy an irrevocable bond borne of their unique upbringing. ‘Preston and I are very united. He is always looking out for me and I am looking out for him. We make sure that we are both healthy mentally,’ says Jayden.
The boys now live with their father and his wife Victoria, 39, a former volleyball champion, Kevin’s older children, Kori, 20 and Kaleb, 18, from a previous relationship with actress Shar Jackson, and his two children with Victoria – Jordan, 11 and eight-year-old Peyton. ‘I feel this is my safe place. My home,’ says Jayden. ‘I love everybody here.’
Britney’s sons offered a fascinating insight into an upbringing overshadowed by their mother’s stardom, controversial conservatorship and ongoing concern for her mental health – earlier this year Spears posted a series of naked pictures online to celebrate her freedom, before deleting them.
Recalling growing up with a famous mother, Jayden said: ‘There was this TV and it just showed all these people, and it showed her singing and dancing on the stage, and when I saw that I was like “Wow, that is a lot of people” and I came to the realization of how famous she was and how successful she is as a person and that inspired me.’
Home: The boys are now sharing a home with their father and his wife Victoria, 39, a former volleyball champion, Kevin’s older children, Kori, 20 and Kaleb, 18, from a previous relationship with actress Shar Jackson, and his two children with Victoria – Jordan, 11 and eight-year-old Peyton
Jayden also said he still has great love for the Spears family, despite his mother lashing out at what she describes as an ‘abusive’ conservatorship imposed by her father Jamie, 70, and accusing her mother Lynne, 67, who separated from Jamie in 2002, of being the ‘brains’ behind the conservatorship.
She has described her sister Jamie Lynne, 31, as ‘insane’ for not siding with her against her parents and accused her brother Bryan, 45, of treating her like ‘absolutely nothing.’
Federline, who met Britney at a Hollywood club in 2004, when she was emerging from a 55-hour long marriage to her childhood friend Jason Alexander and he was expecting his second child with Shar, admits his relationship with Spears’ father has not been without incident.
Tough time: Britney with father Jamie Spears in a photo she posted on Instagram on June 21, 2015, with caption: Happy Father’s Day, daddy! Love you!!’
In November 2019 he took out a restraining order against his former father-in-law Jamie following claims of an altercation. But he believes Jamie ‘really cares about his family’ and the sentiment is one his sons echo, despite having been critical towards him in the past.
Jaden said: ‘At first he was just trying to be like any father letting her pursue her daughter’s dream of becoming a superstar but I did think maybe the conservatorship went on too long, probably why my Mom was very angry about the whole situation that she was working for too long and I personally think she was. She should have taken a break and relaxed.’
But he adds that Jamie ‘doesn’t deserve all the hatred he is getting in the media. I love him, with all my heart. He was just trying to be a father.’
He says his mother is ‘ceasing to realize how much he cares for her’ and cannot parry the manipulative Spears family Britney has portrayed with the relatives he knows.
‘When I meet them in person they would not do such things,’ says Jayden, describing his fun loving Uncle Bryan as someone who ‘always wants to go and play ball in the park’ and his grandmother Lynne, who he calls Memow, ‘a really nice person’.
‘Whenever I see her, she cares about me. They are not bad people! They know what we are going through now. They want our future to be what we want it to be. They just want to watch over us. Memow and Uncle Bryan are a good part of our lives. They have taught me how to deal with things.’
Not that he has always felt this sanguine towards them.
In March 2020 Jayden, when questioned by fans on social media, described Jamie as a ‘d**k.’ Now, however, he says: ‘Looking back, I regret saying all kinds of things. I really feel bad. Preston and I feel bad. We want to see him. I want to see him, sit with him next to the piano, talk about my future.’
Can’t see eye to eye: Federline said Spears’ sons find it ‘tough’ when she posts almost nude photos of herself on social media
Coming to terms with their mother posting pictures of herself naked online was embarrassing for the teenagers, their father said, but seeing themselves thrust into the public eye against their will is arguably more troubling, especially for Preston, who, Jayden says, ‘doesn’t like the cameras. He asked my mother not to post his photos, and she did it anyway. So it didn’t go well.’
He, meanwhile, seems torn between thinking his mother has a right to broadcast her life and body on Instagram and wanting her to realize the ramifications on her family.
‘Social media helps her… So if that’s what she wants to do that’s what she wants to do, I’m not going to hate her for that. At the same time, she should come to the realization of whatever it is that stops her loving her family.
‘It’s almost like she has to post something on Instagram to get some attention. This has gone on for years and years and years and there’s a high chance that this will never stop but I’m hoping for me that she will stop.’
Perhaps wisely, neither boy is consumed by social media. ‘I do have an Instagram account but I barely go on it,’ says Jayden, while Preston, he adds, is prone to ‘overthinking’ about what strangers will say about him.
Instead, home ‘is our safe place to process all the emotional trauma we have been through to actually heal. My family is helping me focus on myself and succeed.’
Growing up, it seems Preston bore the brunt of their mother’s frustration.
‘I think Mom has struggled giving us both attention and showing us equal love and I don’t think she showed enough to Preston and I feel really bad for that.
‘We’ve both been through so much pressure in the past that this is our safe place now, to process all the emotional trauma we’ve been through to heal, heal our mental state.’
At this point his voice trails off.
‘If I complained, she went after him,’ he resumes. ‘I feel guilty, so I am there for him,’ says Jayden, admitting that ‘mom has treated me better.’
When he’s upset, he reveals, he confides in his dad first, ‘because he is always there, to put the pieces together. Or I will try going to my siblings, to get distracted from whatever it is … This family here has really helped me, not to worry about many things.’
When Spears’ conservatorship was initially established after her breakdown in 2008 Federline said a period of stability followed, while Jayden implies that their mother’s behavior became all the more difficult to deal with as they approached adolescence.
‘We have been going back and forth for years. But when you become 10,11…,’ says Jayden.
Despite his frustration, however, he harbors hope he and his mother will be reunited, while fearing the drama surrounding her life may never end. ‘I know it has been going on for years.
There is a high chance it is never going to stop,’ he says. ‘It is so easy to be negative. It is so easy to dip into sadness and depression. It is harder to spread positivity.’
Time to heal: Jayden, left, said during a recent interview that there is ‘no hate’ towards his mother, but he said, ‘it will take a lot of time and effort’ to repair their fractured relationship. He and his brother Preston are seen with their mother at the Los Angeles premier of Smurfs 2 in 2013